Easter Sunday at Olive Garden after Church.
Friday, April 29, 2011
I have become complacent. It's been over a 100 days since my husband deployed and even more since I last held him in my arms, but I hurt a lot less. I'm not numb. I'm just done feeling overwhelmed by it. I sometimes forget how it feels to be with him. It's been so long. I give props to army wives, who can go as long as a year without their loves. It's one of those instants that I'm happy my husband joined the navy and not another branch. It would just be too long. Though being in the middle of the ocean makes video chat on Skype non existent. I did get to have one long video chat a couple weeks back when they were in port. It was wonderful to see his face. He calls me every couple of weeks too. Which is nice. Though half the time it feels like all we do is argue over money or there's not a lot to talk about in general. There's no strain on our marriage. The time difference means I'm talking to my husband at 2 in the morning, his time, when he's been working 18 hour days. So he's kinda cranky or so tired he doesn't think about what he says and I get annoyed. It would just be nice for it to be over. i would like it to be a year from now. So I wouldn't have to worry about moving again and whether or not I have to deal with another deployment. Alas, it is what it is and I have to deal.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
I was staring up at a pair of dark liquid green eyes. It took everything I had to hold that hateful and overwhelmingly lustful glare. I was the only one that calls him Josiah; everyone else simply called him Joe. He was rough looking. Yet he was incredible gentle. He's was a farm hand. That's what this was all about really. I was working on a documentary about "real" farming vs. Farmville. I was in Nebraska in the middle of a very big farm. My job was to interview different workers about various subjects. I was the fact finder. Whereas my counter parts, Kayla Montgomery and Sophie Lambert, were the air head clueless reasons that there needed to be a film on this subject. They really were the target audience for it and provided a comic relief.
It's been a month out of the one year we were filming and today Kayla's carelessness nearly got her hurt. Instead, I got hurt. Not that I would admit it. Kayla had gotten herself stuck between a huge steer and the rail. She started to panic when the steer started to squish her against the rail. I was standing behind it and gave the steer a good push from the back trying to push and direct the steer away from her. Well it worked, but right after I had backed away and turned slightly. The steer decided he didn't like what had happen and kicked backwards nailing me in the side of my high. Of course this all happened when the workers weren't close and Kayla had no reason to be near the animals. Luckily for me I had backed up enough that I didn’t get the full impact. I got up and sucked up the pain. Kayla was having hysterics and everyone was trying to calm her down when they finally got to us. Checking her over and flying about. Of course she was fine. Just freaking out over her stupidity. She had been looking for the earring she has lost earlier that had. Really?
David, our producer, walked up to me and quietly asked. "What happened?"
"Kayla is what happened." I snapped. I guess it hurt more than I thought. David flinched.
"Sorry." I said and explained what had happened. Only I left out the part about my leg and when I looked over at Kayla in gesture. I saw Josiah staring down at my leg. Had he seen it happen? I looked down at my thigh. Oh shit! I was bleeding. I tried to turn a bit so David wouldn't see it, but I was too late.
"Crap! Andy!" yelled David.
"I'm fine. Really. I can't even feel it I just need a shower and a band aid" I tired reasoning. Josiah and Andy both came over to me along with camera man, Josh.
"No. Josh. Come on!" I whined.
He just smiled. Which I knew meant that I wasn't going to win. I knew why. It was good TV. Nothing personal. Andy, our first aid guy, started looking over my leg. Poking and testing. I grinned through it.
"Please stop. I gritted. "It's not bad."
"I'll be the judge of that. Either way that pants got to go or I have to cut them" Adam grinned up at me. We were still in the barn and covered in the days grim.
"How about we get her back to the house?" Josiah’s gruff voice suggested
"Good idea. Joe" David said.
"Alright. “ said Andy.
Then all sudden, Josiah picked me up and started to carry me to the house.
I could see Kayla out of the corner of my eye glaring at Josiah's back. I was pretty sure that she had a thing for him, but he had shown no interest in any of us that way.
"I can walk! I stammered embarrassed.
They all ignored me and continued up to the house.