Things I bought recently at Best buy

Toshiba Satellite A665

Hp Photosmart D110

Wireless router

I'm missing 3-4. I should have bought them at walmart and saved myself some money, but I got them for my parents.

Day 2:challenge

The person I've been closest to the longest.

Day one:Picture and Facts.

1.I'm scared of spiders
2. I'm the youngest of 3.

3.My nickname from my dad is sport..

4.I didn't move away from home until I was 23

5. I didn't have a real wedding, though I have a dress for one.

6. I've been the other woman.

7. I'm shy until I get to know you.

8. Yellows, golds, browns and greens  are my favorite colors

9.I love to read.

10. I have extra long tendons in my fingers

30 Day Challenge:Random blog

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss 

I got this blog idea from a friend

She's pretty fricking cool.

Sarah <3

Photo of the day: Baby Vs Bear.

Deployment: :Fricking Duh!

I just want to shout out there that when you"re sweetie/kid/parent/ sibling/ friend is deployed, that you shouldn't pay any attention to what random people say about where/what/when they are going/doing. The only person you should ask/pay attention to is you"re sweetie/kid/parent/ sibling/ friend.  They are you"re best bet. Why cause mass panic and worry to other over something that you don't know is true and most likely isn't. Why be that annoying person that causes more work for every one else? SO TAKE A CHILL PILL and ask your sweetie/kid/parent/ sibling/ friend what the scoop is, Ok?

Nelected:random blog

I've been bad about keeping anything up to date. I have however managed to watch the 2 and a half seasons of Private practice I missed and catch up on Grey's anatomy. Oh and Royal pains.  I feel like a junkie. Lol. I don't have cable. I watch everything online or downloaded. I'm on the hunt for a good picture and movie laptop. If anyone has any advice. I looked around Best buy for over 15 minutes and no one offered help. My kid was screaming and I was done. Went grocery shopping today. Took all frocking day. I miss my husband and I miss living without a room mate. I love my sister, but I knew I get annoyed sooner or later with the lack of privacy. My husband had his first port call this week. He promised me something pretty. H is working on learning body parts and words. Aunt Lisa sounds like Jesus. He's been saying Grandpa a lot, cuz my dad has been watching him every morning while I go feed a friends horses. Her mom broke her ankle and she asked me to feed them. It doesn't take long, but her mom is a hoader and has cats. My ocd drives me crazy everytime I had to go in the house to get the barn boots and gloves. The horses are getting sassy with me lately. the barely let me in before they try to get the hay. lol. Got our taxes back already. H moves to a new bed as soon as we buy it. I'm also getting a printer. Need to start printing coupons and the family update letter. I miss VA a little bit. I really miss my other military friends being soon close.  Well that's my random update for now.

Photo of the day: Fatherhood

 

This photo was taken by Molly Stocko of Sublimes Images llc.

Song of the day.-"Only An Ocean Away"

"Only An Ocean Away"

I see a shadow every day and night.
I walk a hundred streets of neon lights,
Only when I'm crying.
Can you hear me crying.
So many times you always wanted more,
Chasing illusions that you're longing for.
Wish I wasn't crying.
Can you hear me crying.

There's an ocean between us.
You know where to find me.
You reach out and touch me.
I feel you in my own heart.
More than a lifetime.
Still goes on forever.
But it helps to remember
You're only an ocean away.

Was there a moment when I felt no pain.
I want to feel it in my life again.
Let it be over now.
Oh Oh over now.
'Cause I remember all the days and nights
We used to walk the streets of neon lights
Oh I want you here with me.
Oh be here with me.

There's an ocean between us.
You know where to find me.
You reach out and touch me.
I feel you in my own heart.
More than a lifetime
Still goes on forever.
But it helps to remember
You're only an ocean away.

So many times you always wanted more,
Chasing illusions that you're longing for.
Wish I wasn't crying.
Can you hear me crying.

There's an ocean between us.
You know where to find me.
Just reach out and touch me.
I feel you in my own heart.
More than a lifetime
It seems like forever.
But I'll always remember
You're only an ocean away.

Only an ocean away.

Deployment: keeping busy

I'm finding it easy to keep busy during the day. It's pretty normal. Granted I've been used to it for some time now. It's been over two weeks since I've seen him and a couple day since they deployed. I think so far the hardest part of being a single married person is crawling into an empty bed everynight. I miss his arms around me and feeling of security.

Deployment. What else is new.

Tomorrow. Yup. It starts for real tomorrow and I honest to God, don't know how I am supposed to feel. I've been with out my husband since December 27th 2010.  I said my peace with every emotion floating through my body at the time. Now I just want it done. I know I'll only be able to talk to him maybe once a week now if I'm lucky and I promised to email him everyday. Even if I had nothing to say, other then I love you.  I already have his first care package almost ready. Mainly filled with his favorite treats and covered with drawings, stickers and quotes. I'm a Scrape Booker. So I had plenty of stickers to use. I'm also putting  H's hand print  on a piece of paper for every month that he's away.  I gave him two bottles of Izzie wrapped in  diapers. lol I thought it would be cute and I forgot to buy bubble wrap. Well I need to put H to bed. Working on the routine. I wish the best of luck to all the other ladies and sailors going through this with me. God speed.

Photo of the day.

Song of the day.

"Goodbye To You" by  Michelle Branch

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

Song of the Day- Catalyst

This song reminds me of the year my husband and I met. 


"Catalyst" by Anna Nalick.

L.A. lights never shine quite as bright as in the movies
Still wanna go?
'Cause something here
In the way, in the way that we're constantly moving
Reminds you of home

So you're taking these pills
For to fill up your soul
And you're drinking them down with cheap alcohol
And I'd be inclined to be yours for the taking
And part of this terrible mess that you're making
But me, I'm the catalyst

When you say love is a simple chemical reaction
Can't say I agree
'Cause my chemical, yeah, left me a beautiful disaster
Still love's all I see

So I'm taking these pills for to fill up my soul
And I'm drinking them down with cheap alcohol
And you'd be inclined to be mine for the taking
And part of this terrible mess that I'm making
But you, you're the catalyst

You'll be the vein
You'll be the pain
You'll be the scar
You'll be the road, rolling below
The wheels of a car
And all of the thoughts, on God
Don't know if I'm strong enough now
You'll be the vein
You'll be the pain
You'll be the
Catalyst

These L.A. lights, no no,
They don't shine quite as bright as back in Frisco
Do you wanna go?
Still wanna go

Striking down the terrible twos: Routine

Since moving and re adjusting to how life is gonna be this current chunk of time until after deployment. I have lost any and all routine to my day and it's taking a toll on H. I need to kick ass and make up a routine. I was reading up on sleep for toddlers, because H has been a handful and a half lately in this department. A bed time routine can help and I have to start trying to put him to sleep around the same time each time. Back before we moved. H would fall asleep on the couch watching my either do something on the computer or to a movie. Plus we had a tv in the bedroom that i used to keep a movie in the DVD player on all night mainly to help me to sleep. I do better with light noise and light. Also because my husband is never home. H sleeps next to me. I've done co sleeping since he was little. I know some people don't like it, but H never slept well in his crib and when breastfeeding a new born. It was just a lot easier. I hated having him in another room. I know some people worry about suffocating their kid, but I never once had a problem  I'd lay on my side and not move an inch all night and now that H moves a lot in his sleep. I move with him. I usually end up moon shaped against the wall.  I want to get him a normal twin bed with rails. I think toddler beds are stupid.  I know sooner or later as he gets older he's gonna wanna be a big boy and sleep in this own bed.  lol So tonight I'm gonna bath him, brush his teeth and read to him,  I used to try to read to him, but he'd always take the book away and rip pages or get angry at it for not turning the pages enough.  I sing to him and  he'll get mad. because he knows I'm trying to get him to sleep. He's a little to smart for his own good.  Always has been and I always joke about wanting a dumb kid, but hid dads pretty book smart, so I'm not surprised. I also am going to trying getting him back to a stable nap time each day. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Photo of the day.

A little late: Some New's pictures.

E at the Elk's Lodge for fish fry.

 My sister and E

 Grandpa and H

Mom on new years.

How I spent my night without H.

An update of sorts.

So........

The bonus money finally showed up! Yay! Bills and such are taken care of. Which is a huge weight off my shoulders. I finally got Christmas gifts for everyone and my new car! I love it. God bless the person that invented heated seats and remote start!   I realize that deployment is coming up pretty fast now. Leave just didn't seem long enough. I wish I had more time with him, but gotta deal with the choice we made. That choice by the way, wasn't for pride and country. Don't get me wrong. Those things are great, but we made the choice mainly due to the economy. My husband realized that he wanted to start a family with me and realized that jobs were lacking. Not to mention the college opportunity and the bonuses  Plus  his grandpa was in the air force and I think his great grandpa was in the Navy. So maybe a little bit of pride then.  I get annoyed at people that are overly proud. It's like good for you, but chill out. We get in already.  Anyway now that I went off on that brief tangent. lol   I've spent the last couple days shopping for random things. Stuff needed around the house and bigger clothes for H.  My husband is 6'1 and I'm 5'2.   H is gonna be 2 at the end of April and is over 35 inches tall. He's been over half my height for a while.  Luckily  he's only is 24 months to 3T right now. i love shopping for baby clothes, even though he's not really a baby anymore. 
On that note. We didn't get pregnant.  We tried and failed, but we had a crappy time frame. Between getting regular again, moving and leave.  there just wasn't a whole lot of time. I'm sad, but I'll deal. At least I can hard core work of looking hot when my husband gets back from deployment. Whenever the heck that is.   I'm booking a suite at the Sybaris. for then. It will be awesome.
The Dells weekend is coming up fast!!!! I booked everything!  Yay. Baby free time. Speaking of that my parents have been watching H like crazy lately. It's been great. I love them so much!  They are awesome grandparents and H acts like an angel for them. lol  Well  I think that's a pretty good update for now.
later days

I've been there.

I've been there in that hole that you're sitting in.
You didn't put yourself there.
It just wasn't your turn to win.
Your begging and your pleading didn't do a thing.
You're sitting there wishing that he was listening.
Gulit and blame are dancing across your mind.
All you can do is wonder why.
You're broken and defeated.
Your hearts a bloody mess and somewhere
deep inside you hate is wrestling.
You've lost something. Though your not you're not sure why.
You've lost something and you want to know why.
I've been there with every emotion that I hate.
Don't let it get inside you. Don't let it keep you there.

There's no beauty in the breakdown:Slow stop

I can hear it in his voice and feel it like a fog over the conversation.  He's not ready and the slow procession of days leading up to the date are crushing him. Deployment, it's creeping up on him. Ground hogs day for months at a time. He talks about wanting to make plans and be with us, but he knows that at this point there is nothing to d, but wait. Waiting is not easy for him. I want to help, but nothing I say cuts through the fog. I have already said my peace with deployment. I don't know how to fix it with him. I just ask God to help him through it.